Pancakes
by Themasterchef
Summary: Emma is having a bad day and comes home to a messed up house. what else would you expect a pirate and an eleven year old to do all day?


**Hi, so this story has nothing to do with my story The Test, this is just something I wrote a while ago. I guess it can be seen as a prelude to my other story. Anyway i hope you enjoy it.**

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Sometimes I think someone in heaven with power must hate me, or get a kick out of screwing up my life. I mean seriously, first I'm orphaned as a child because some witch bitch doesn't like my parents. I grow up in foster care with no one to love me, and when I think someone finally does love me, they end up leaving me pregnant and in jail. You would think my life would get better once I'm reunited with my son but no, I end up being thrown through a portal to a taco bellless hell world filled with ogres, fairytail freaks, and witch bitch's mother. Returning does no good, because like in a month my son gets thrown through _another_ portal to a worst land where some band of homeless loser children want to make him their king, or kill him, that part was never really clear to me. To fix this I have to travel to another world, after I just got back from the forest from hell, seriously there should only be one world I mean once you start getting into more than three then… never mind, I digress. So I get on this ship with my parents who are oddly younger than me and I suspect horny as hell, witch bitch herself, also my son's adopted mother, a creepy imp dude who somehow manages to have hot woman fall for him, and a pirate. But not just any pirate, no that would be too easy, this is a pirate who has bigger trust issues than me, a libido that can't be tamed and sadly, oh so sadly, a rockin' hot body to back it up. Not a good combination. Because I want to be mad every time he makes a come on, but more than half the time I just want to rip his shirt off and make him forget about anyone ever named Milah. And I could, I am that good, and I suspect he is as well, people develop certain abilities when they lose a body part or a sense. But that is not the mission, so for four months I have to suppress the urge to teach Mr. Sexy leather pants a lesson and find my son. Which we do, after fighting a bunch of killer mermaids, a possessed army of seagulls, a creepy crew of teenage boys, and a freaky shadow thing that stole my ex-boyfriend three hundred years ago. After that I think life will be good. I have returned home with my son and the rest of our crew. I finally have my parents and witch bitch has been keeping cool lately. I even showed Mr. Sexy leather pants why I like hand cuffs so much and now we have been living together for three months. Finally someone up there has taken pity on me and has allowed me to have a good life. Not. When I walk into my new apartment after a horrible day of work, because leaving a town without a sheriff or a deputy for four months really leaves a lot of paper work to back up, I find it totally destroyed. Not even joking, there is broken glass everywhere, it looks like there was a batter explosion in the kitchen, followed by a mini fire, the books and dvds are scattered and broken on the floor, I'm pretty sure the walls were not pained red and yellow when I left this morning, and there are feathers everywhere. And in the middle of the living room, as cool as cucumbers are my son Henry, and Mr. Sexy leather pants, soon to be Mr. Beaten bloody sexy leather pants, aka Killian Jones watching a rerun of House.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE!", I screeched.

At the sound of my voice the two boys turned around to look at me with disbelief that I was upset. " well", Henry started, " Me and Killian were going to make pancakes this morning and everything was going good until he dared me to eat the raw batter. So I did and then I told him it was his turn but he wouldn't do it so I threw just a little at him," my son looks slyly in the pirate's direction who is sitting looking down at his hook. " And he went crazy and threw the whole bowl of batter at me, so I had to retaliate so I threw some plates at him," " all in good fun," Killian adds. " yeah I didn't want to hurt him, but while this was going on the pancakes in the pan started to burn and the oil caught on fire which lit the curtains on fire and then the walls," he finishes in a deep breath.

I looked at the grown man who I trusted to look after my son for one day waiting for him to say something that will make me not want to stab him with my high heels. " it was all under control lass, we put it out with water fairly quickly and there is not much real damage, the walls are slightly singed and the curtains can be replaced," he says as if that can make it all better.

" You threw a bowl at my son," I stated simply completely enraged.

"Yes, well I wouldn't have had to do that if he hadn't of thrown the batter in my face in the first place, I couldn't let that slide by and let him think I'm getting weak, I have my pride to think about, and the boy has been through worst." By this point he has stood up and is facing me, trying to look innocent.

"How do you explain the rest of the house?" I question looking at them like the common male is a foreign species.

"After the kitchen incident," Killian goes on to explain, "we decided you would just use magic to clean it up, so why not go crazy on the rest of the house?"

"Yeah, we were watching doctor Oz earlier and he said breaking stuff and adding a bit of chaos into a structured home can be an excellent stress reliever," my son adds like this fixes everything because doctor Oz said it was ok. I cannot believe what I am hearing. They think they can do whatever they want when I am not around and then have me clean up their messes with magic? I turn to the stairs and start walking up to my bathroom.

"Where are you going love? Don't you want this cleaned?" the pirate I sometimes wished I had left under the rubble says.

"I'm going to take a shower and then get a bag together to spend the night at my parents' house. This will give you all night and tomorrow to clean up this mess, go out and buy some paint, curtains, and anything you broke, and fix this house up the way I left it this morning."

"But mom! That will take forever!" Henry wailed

"I don't care, I'm your mother but it's not my job to clean up all of your messes." " And you," I turn to my sad looking boyfriend, " in the future I expect more from you, I don't feel like taking care of three children instead of two." And with that I leave my two boys dumbstruck while I go to take a shower with my growing baby girl ( fingers crossed!).


End file.
